SCOT: THE OFFICIANT
My APPROACH
Imagine going to a Ferrari dealership and asking for a Ford Focus. Or telling the Rolex salesperson you really like cheap plastic watch bands. For over 600 weddings in 7 years I've been steadily and ambitiously improving and honing my craft. I can talk your ear off about the fine details of getting your guests attention and setting the stage with a pleasant and welcoming pre-ceremony announcement. Or if you want to get down in the weeds, I can tell you all about the different types of inks you can and should sign a marriage license with and the types of envelopes you should use to mail them in. I'm a professional and a perfectionist. Over my career, I've worked with every type of couple from those wanting a custom authored ceremony with unique unity ceremonies on a mountain top, to those just wanting me to sign their marriage license in their kitchen. All of it has been a enriching experience. But that said, I've reached a point where I'm no longer willing to compromise on quality. It's a point where I've stopped selling budget and mid-range packages. I'm not interested in that anymore. I'm only interested in giving a wedding everything I have to give.
If you just want someone to marry you and sign papers... If you just want to check the box next to 'ceremony'... If the experience of the actual declaration of your love and the dedication of your future to someone is not really that important to you... I'm not going to judge you. It's your ceremony and it should be everything you want it to be. But if those things are true, well, I'm probably not the right fit to be your officiant. I care about every detail, every story you have to tell about your love, every photo of you throughout the ceremony, and even every angle and separation of the chairs. And why, because in that one amazing moment where you look into your partner's eyes and profess your life-long promise, I want you to be absolutely lost in that moment. There are so many things that are happening at a wedding and so many moving pieces it is easy to be distracted by events, worries, friends or family. My goal is to take care of your ceremony so completely that everything else washes away and all that is left is the two of you and your love for each other.
So how do I go about doing all that? Well, it's mostly about being detail oriented, preparing and having lots of experience. Because with those things, it is easy for me to guide you around common and uncommon ceremony issues and give you the calm confidence to lose yourself in that perfect moment. I'll talk you through every ceremony option from the traditional to the creative. I'll guide you through the ceremony creative process and help you understand the underlying symbolism of each gesture and word. I'll be there from rehearsal to cocktail hour putting in every effort to make you and your guests feel comfortable, welcome and at home. All of this may be new to you and you may be feeling like it's a world of firsts... your first wedding contract... your first floral consultation... your first reception playlist. It can be a whirlwind experience. But within that perspective keep in mind one important thing: it may be your first, but it is also your last wedding ceremony. Make it the way you want it to be. Make it count.
If you just want someone to marry you and sign papers... If you just want to check the box next to 'ceremony'... If the experience of the actual declaration of your love and the dedication of your future to someone is not really that important to you... I'm not going to judge you. It's your ceremony and it should be everything you want it to be. But if those things are true, well, I'm probably not the right fit to be your officiant. I care about every detail, every story you have to tell about your love, every photo of you throughout the ceremony, and even every angle and separation of the chairs. And why, because in that one amazing moment where you look into your partner's eyes and profess your life-long promise, I want you to be absolutely lost in that moment. There are so many things that are happening at a wedding and so many moving pieces it is easy to be distracted by events, worries, friends or family. My goal is to take care of your ceremony so completely that everything else washes away and all that is left is the two of you and your love for each other.
So how do I go about doing all that? Well, it's mostly about being detail oriented, preparing and having lots of experience. Because with those things, it is easy for me to guide you around common and uncommon ceremony issues and give you the calm confidence to lose yourself in that perfect moment. I'll talk you through every ceremony option from the traditional to the creative. I'll guide you through the ceremony creative process and help you understand the underlying symbolism of each gesture and word. I'll be there from rehearsal to cocktail hour putting in every effort to make you and your guests feel comfortable, welcome and at home. All of this may be new to you and you may be feeling like it's a world of firsts... your first wedding contract... your first floral consultation... your first reception playlist. It can be a whirlwind experience. But within that perspective keep in mind one important thing: it may be your first, but it is also your last wedding ceremony. Make it the way you want it to be. Make it count.
MY PHILOSOPHY
There can be an attitude in officiating that...
...insults your guests or forgets they exist.
...makes the officiant more important than the two of you or the ceremony.
...believes the only thing the officiant is responsible for is speaking the words.
...focuses more on what the officiant wants to say than what the two of you or your guests want to hear.
...projects the spirituality of the officiant onto the two of you and your guests.
...relies on humor and comedy that makes fun of the couple, the wedding and marriage as an institution.
...obscures the couple through excessive theology.
...considers rehearsals useless.
...requires pre-marital coaching.
...either rigidly adheres to, or sheds entirely, all traces of tradition.
Put simply, I reject these attitudes.
And in their place, I believe...
...the ceremony is about the two of you and your guests and that an officiant should never say “I” during a ceremony.
...the pinnacle of a ceremony is when the two of you gaze deeply into each other’s eyes and are lost in the moment professing your love.
...preparation can create an environment free of awkward moments.
...a wedding ceremony is equal parts meeting, verbal essay and rite of passage.
...an officiant should do everything in their power to assist the photographer, music provider and all other vendors.
...wedding planners and coordinators are awesome.
...officiants should be at, and even run, rehearsals.
...rehearsals are more than just walking in and walking out.
...discussing and setting expectations are critical.
...once you have been provided with a wedding professional's advice and experience, you are capable of making your own decisions as to what is best for your wedding.
And most of all, I believe your ceremony should be yours, perfectly yours.
...insults your guests or forgets they exist.
...makes the officiant more important than the two of you or the ceremony.
...believes the only thing the officiant is responsible for is speaking the words.
...focuses more on what the officiant wants to say than what the two of you or your guests want to hear.
...projects the spirituality of the officiant onto the two of you and your guests.
...relies on humor and comedy that makes fun of the couple, the wedding and marriage as an institution.
...obscures the couple through excessive theology.
...considers rehearsals useless.
...requires pre-marital coaching.
...either rigidly adheres to, or sheds entirely, all traces of tradition.
Put simply, I reject these attitudes.
And in their place, I believe...
...the ceremony is about the two of you and your guests and that an officiant should never say “I” during a ceremony.
...the pinnacle of a ceremony is when the two of you gaze deeply into each other’s eyes and are lost in the moment professing your love.
...preparation can create an environment free of awkward moments.
...a wedding ceremony is equal parts meeting, verbal essay and rite of passage.
...an officiant should do everything in their power to assist the photographer, music provider and all other vendors.
...wedding planners and coordinators are awesome.
...officiants should be at, and even run, rehearsals.
...rehearsals are more than just walking in and walking out.
...discussing and setting expectations are critical.
...once you have been provided with a wedding professional's advice and experience, you are capable of making your own decisions as to what is best for your wedding.
And most of all, I believe your ceremony should be yours, perfectly yours.