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UNITY CEREMONIES

The standard American wedding ceremony is comprised of a processional, an opening speech, the declaration of intent ("I do's"), vows, the ring exchange, the kiss and the recessional. But what if you want to do something special or that really makes your ceremony something to remember? That's where unity ceremonies can help! They are any activity that you do during the ceremony that isn't already part of the standard format. They allow you to express your love and devotion in a way unique to the two of you.

Sand ceremony

The sand ceremony is a classic unity ceremony where the two of you pour sand grains together to signify the blending of your lives together. It also leaves you with a timeless reminder of your union with a vase of colored sand. This ceremony represents your unity as a couple and the coming together of your complex lives into one inseparable whole.  This ceremony is also perfect for couples who want to celebrate with other loved ones or children during the wedding ceremony. Each person who has vested interest in the marriage can pour into the vase. There are lots of options when it comes to containers as well. There are hour glasses, heart shaped displays, picture frames and wide assortment of glassware. If you get creative you could even use sand from different locations. Etsy and Amazon can be a great source of materials and ideas.
Items you'll need to get:
  • 2 containers to pour with
  • 1 container to pour into
  • Enough sand to fill the main container, typically two different colors

Salt Covenant

While the sand ceremony is a classic, you can use the same process with salt. Why? Well, salt has more symbolism than sand. Salt is used to preserve things and to add flavor, which is great symbolism when it comes to love. And in ancient times mixing salt was a way to create an unbreakable contract. Two people would mix their salt together and the thought was that the only way the contract could be broken was if either person could retrieve only their grains of salt from the mixture. And since this was thought to be impossible, the contract could never be broken. And it doesn't have to just be white salt, it can be all manner of colored salt. Himalayan and bath salts work great for this type of ceremony.
​Items you'll need to get:
  • 2 containers to pour with
  • 1 container to pour into
  • Enough salt to fill the main container, typically two different colors

Unity in glass

Have you had enough pouring yet? I hope not. The last entry in this style of unity ceremony is a unity in glass. Unlike the Sand Ceremony or the Salt Covenant, you'll need to purchase your materials from a glass blower. Basically, during the ceremony you'll be mixing glass crystals together. And then after the ceremony, you can send the mixed crystals back to the glass blower and they will heat the crystals up and blow them into a glass sculpture. They have lots of varieties of sizes and colors to choose from. It can take a little bit of time to get the materials shipped out to you, so be sure to plan ahead and order early. Here are some places that offer this service:
https://www.unityinglass.com/
https://thirddegreeglassfactory.com/events/weddings/glass-ceremonies/
https://weddingunityglass.com/
Items you'll need to get:
  • 2 containers to pour with
  • 1 container to pour into
  • 1 glass crystal package from a glass blower

MOTHER'S ROSE CEREMONY

It's common to think that the wedding day is all about the couple, but there's an important undercurrent just beneath the surface. As much as it is a rite of passage for the two of you, it's also a rite of passage for your parents. A wedding, in many ways, is a parent's graduation ceremony. They have raised you up to the point where you can start your own family. And the Mother's Rose ceremony is a way of honoring all that they have done for you. Or if you prefer you can offer roses to both your parents for a Parent's Rose ceremony.
Items you'll need to get:
  • 2 roses for a Mother's Rose ceremony or 4 roses for a Parent's Rose ceremony

Gathering Ceremony

In a gathering ceremony, as you guests enter into the ceremony space we ask them to pick up a small object. This can be any collectible. Wishing stones are the most common, but any small item will do. Then during the ceremony we ask them to hold the item in their hand put their best wishes into them. At the end of the ceremony, as they exit the space, we collect them into a display. As an example in the image we used small hearts that we asked everyone to write their names on. If you're looking for a way to involve everyone in your ceremony or would like to utilize a favorite collectible, this is definitely a good way to go!
Items you'll need to get:
  • Enough small items for all your guests
  • A container for guests to get the items out of
  • A container for guests to put the items into

Handfasting

In a Handfasting Ceremony, we wrap cords around your hands. Each cord has it's own meaning and symbolism. There are the cords of comfort, truth, compassion, understanding, strength, growth, honor and love. As each cord is wrapped you're both asked if you will imbue this property into your marriage. And after the cords are wrapped, we take the ends and tie a knot. This is where the phrase 'tie the knot' comes from! After which, we remove the cords and continue with the ceremony.
Items you'll need to get:
  • 8 individual cords each between 66" and 72" long. Flat cord or ribbons work best. Joann Fabrics sells all sorts of interesting cord by the yard.
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Beverage ceremony

You can choose any type of beverage you like! Wine, beer, whiskey, soda, coffee, tea... whatever beverage you like or bonded over. You each have your own container of the beverage. You pour into your own glass, then you pour into your partner's glass to blend them together, and you both drink. 
Items you'll need to get:
  • 2 containers to pour from
  • 2 glasses to drink from
  • One or two types of beverages to mix

Time Capsule

There's a poem that really makes this work. And more or less the poem goes like this... Your marriage is like an empty box. You have to put in effort to fill it. And then you have to keep putting in effort to keep it full.  So the idea is that we take a box and fill it with items during the ceremony. This can be a bottle of wine, a gift card to your favorite restaurant, letters to your future selves, a hotel room key, a newspaper, anything that reminds you of this moment in time. And then on your anniversary you can open the box and partake of the items inside. Then you can put some of the old items back in and add some new items for your next anniversary!
​Items you'll need to get:
  • A box to put items in
  • Some things to put in the box, for instance...
    • A bottle of wine or whiskey
    • A gift card to your favorite restaurant
    • Letters to your future selves
    • A hotel room key
    • A newspaper
    • A postcard from your wedding or honeymoon locations
    • A wedding invitation
    • The cork from your champagne toast
    • A wedding favor
    • Brochures or other memorabilia for your honeymoon
    • Messages from your wedding guests (set out slips of paper and pens)
    • A dried flower from your bouquet or boutonniere

But wait there's more...

What you've seen above is a broad sampling of Unity Ceremonies. And in fact, there are lots, lots more. Most of them are culturally specific. So if there's a particular culture you like, you can pretty much bet they have their own types of Unity Ceremonies. From breaking of the glass, to sawing wood, salt & bread, jumping the broom or sword, you name it and there's something you can do to make your ceremony a little more unique and fun!